Well. I'm home! How are things? How are you? How's your day? WHAT HAPPENED?!?!
I haven't posted in while, and there's a lot of things in my mind.
Well. Actually, it's just one person. But.. Yeah. A lot has happened.
I won't tell you the rest, though. It'll bore you to death.
I just want to... I don't know. I want to forget it, really. I want to tell it to someone. It's killing me.
All this time, I was hurting him.
He was hurt... Because of my past.
Well, he's not mad at me. It's like, he is sad for what they did to me.
It may seem flattering, well, I think so, too, but they hurt him. And those are part of me.
It hurts to know that I'm hurting him. I hate knowing I'm that monster. :(
The worst part is, he blames himself for those mistakes. He says that he should've warned me 'cause he knew. I don't know what to tell him, he wouldn't let me blame myself for my mistakes... I wish I could erase those junk. I wish they'd never happened.
Well. I just want to blame myself... I blame myself for making him miserable. It's heart-breaking to see him blame himself, drink, cry and being such a drama king... I still doubt he's avoiding other girls, but I have this feeling that he's quite serious--I hope&&wish.
WELL. I think that's all I want to tell. The crucial part. The really, really, really weird part. I wish he is the person I know before. I wouldn't want him to change who he really is. Well, except for the jerky-girl-collecting part of him. I hope he'll uninstall that program. Unless it's a default program. (OH NO... Why didn't I think of that before? T.T)
THAT'S ALL. I feel... better. :) WOOT. I apologize for this moment... Again.
Goodnight folks.
I haven't posted in while, and there's a lot of things in my mind.
Well. Actually, it's just one person. But.. Yeah. A lot has happened.
I won't tell you the rest, though. It'll bore you to death.
I just want to... I don't know. I want to forget it, really. I want to tell it to someone. It's killing me.
All this time, I was hurting him.
He was hurt... Because of my past.
Well, he's not mad at me. It's like, he is sad for what they did to me.
It may seem flattering, well, I think so, too, but they hurt him. And those are part of me.
It hurts to know that I'm hurting him. I hate knowing I'm that monster. :(
The worst part is, he blames himself for those mistakes. He says that he should've warned me 'cause he knew. I don't know what to tell him, he wouldn't let me blame myself for my mistakes... I wish I could erase those junk. I wish they'd never happened.
Well. I just want to blame myself... I blame myself for making him miserable. It's heart-breaking to see him blame himself, drink, cry and being such a drama king... I still doubt he's avoiding other girls, but I have this feeling that he's quite serious--I hope&&wish.
WELL. I think that's all I want to tell. The crucial part. The really, really, really weird part. I wish he is the person I know before. I wouldn't want him to change who he really is. Well, except for the jerky-girl-collecting part of him. I hope he'll uninstall that program. Unless it's a default program. (OH NO... Why didn't I think of that before? T.T)
THAT'S ALL. I feel... better. :) WOOT. I apologize for this moment... Again.
Goodnight folks.
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